Odd Squad - Wonder Woman Crossover
by Flying Saucers
Summary: Villainy, Inc. have kidnapped Oscar! Can Odd Squad and Wonder Woman rescue him in time?
1. Chapter 1

"Thank you for coming, Odd Squad."

The housewife ushered Olive and Otto into her suburban home. Olive immediately took charge.

"What seems to be the problem, ma'am?"

"It's my husband," the housewife responded, forcing back tears. "He's... he's upstairs..."

She led them up the carpeted steps into the bedroom where a paunchy, middle-aged man in a maroon suit and a bad fake mustache lay tied to the bedposts. He looked up at them, bleary-eyed, and sang, "They say we're young and we don't know, won't find out until we grow..."

The agents looked at him, then at each other.

"He... he hasn't said anything else in weeks," the housewife whispered. "He hasn't even sung anything else. He just keeps repeating that over and over..."

As if in confirmation, he sang again, "They say we're young and we don't know, won't find out until we grow..."

"What's with the...?" Otto rubbed his own upper lip.

"He gets violent when we try to remove it. Oh Odd Squad, is there any hope?"

Olive pondered. "That sounds like the first line of a song. Do you know the next verse?"

"Of course." The housewife recited. "Well, I don't know if all that's true, but you've got me and baby, I've got you."

"BABE!" The husband thundered, startling them all. "I GOT YOU, BABE!" The housewife joined in the second, "I GOT YOU, BABE!"

"It's working!" Otto looked excitedly from the man to the wife. "Keep going!"

"I've got flowers in the spring," the husband sang. "I've got you to wear my ring..."

"AND WHEN I'M SAAAAAAAAD, YOU'RE A CLOOOOOOOWN!" belted the housewife, now suddenly wearing a sparkly, rhinestone studded halter top and matching bellbottoms and a long black wig. "AND WHEN I GET SCAAAAAAAAARED, YOU'RE ALWAYS AROOOOOOOOOOUND!"

Otto leaned close to Olive. "Um, what's going on?"

"So let 'em say our hair's too long!" The housewife continued to sing. "When I'm with you, I know I can't be wrong!"

The husband had freed himself from the bedposts and now stood beside his wife. "Just put your little hand in mine, ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb!"

A toddler in a lime green pantsuit and oversized blonde wig ran in and joined in, staring blankly around the room.

"BABE! I GOT YOU, BABE! I GOT YOU, BABE!"

"Thank you, Odd Squad!" the housewife gushed. "At last, we're a family again!"

Olive forced a smile. "Just doing our job, ma'am." Then to her partner. "Okay, start edging toward the door, and when we get to the hall, make a run for it."

"I GOT YOOOOOOOOU, BAAAAAAAABE!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Then after the divorce, they tried to revive the show..." Olive shuddered. "We got so many calls..."

Olive and Otto entered Ms. O's office. "You wanted to see us, Ms... Oh...?"

" ...So we've been working on updating the... _There_ you two are!" Ms. O took a drag on her juice box as the two agents gaped at the costumed woman their boss had been casually chatting with. "Diana, this is Otto and Olive. Otto, Olive, this is Princess Diana. You may know her as Wonder Woman."

She rose from her chair, smiling, careful to avoid bumping her head on the ceiling. "You can call me Diana, if you like..."

"Wonder Woman?" Otto stared. " _The_ Wonder Woman? The superhero? With the Justice League and the Super Friends and... Do you still see Apache Chief?"

Wonder Woman nodded. "Occasionally. He's retired now, but we keep in touch."

Ms. O half-smiled. "The Princess and I ran some missions together during the War. She's in town on business and stopped in to consult with us."

Olive stepped forward, grabbing and shaking her hand. "I...I... This is such an honor, Ma'am... I mean, Princess... I mean..." She coughed. "I used to watch your show every week. In reruns, I mean. I... Not that you're old, I mean..."

"It's all right, Olive. I understand. It was a long time ago."

"Do you mind if I get Octavia?" Otto asked. "Can I get Octavia? She's, like, a _huge_ fan, she'll just..." Otto ran out of the room to get Octavia.

"I'm sorry, I just... I..." Olive struggled to regain her composure. "Don't you have a sword now?"

"Not really," Wonder Woman shook her head. "I don't know why, but people keep asking me that lately..."

Otto returned, dragging Octavia behind him. "Agent Octavia, this is Wonder Woman."

Wonder Woman smiled and took her hand. "Hello, Octavia. Otto tells me you're a fan."

Octavia's eyes were wide as saucers. "I...I... I..." She stared at her hand, stared at Wonder Woman, and fainted dead away.

"Oboy..." Wonder Woman caught her and carried her to the nearest chair. "I'm sorry."

Ms. O sighed. "She's one of my best agents, but she can be a bit... excitable..."

"Is she all right? Does she need a doctor or...?"

"Did someone call for a doctor?" Doctor O went to Octavia's side and checked her pulse. "She's just fainted. I'll get the smelling salts."

"Fine," Ms. O nodded. "Oh, and Doctor O, this is Wonder Woman."

Doctor O shook the Princess' hand. "Glad to meet you, Wonder Woman. I've heard a lot about you. I'm Doctor O. I'm a doctor. That's why they call me Doctor O. Because I'm a doctor. I have to go to my office, I'll be right back."

Doctor O exited, vanishing down the hall. Olive put a pillow behind Octavia's head.

Just then, out in the hallway, they heard a wild shriek. "OMIGAWD! THAT WAS WONDER WOMAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WONDER WOMAN! YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! OMIGAWD, OMIGAWD, OMIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Then a teal-colored blur did backflips up and down the hall, disappearing just behind a partition.

A moment later Doctor O entered, adjusting her coat. "These should do the trick..."

Wonder Woman looked around the room, trying to suppress a smile.

"We're going to have a meeting in a few minutes," Ms. O explained. "Some of Wonder Woman's old enemies have been spotted in the area."

"I've information suggesting they're planning something that involves Odd Squad," Wonder Woman added. "I want all of you to be very careful. Villainy, Inc. are extremely dangerous."

Octavia revived. "Villainy, Incorporated?" She looked around. " _Here?"_ Then she fainted again.

"We're just waiting for everyone to get back from lunch," Ms. O continued, then looked at her watch. "Where's Oscar? He should've gotten here five minutes ago!"

Meanwhile, a few blocks away at Bette's Buffet And Bowl, Oscar was rolling his fifty-third consecutive gutterball.

"Yeah!" He cheered, waiting his ball to return. "Almost got 'em that time!" He nibbled on a half-finished plate of carrot-sticks, then collected his personalized bowling ball. It was bright green and glittery, with a stencil of his face on one side. "Your days are _numbered_ , pins!"

Preoccupied with his game, he didn't notice the commotion as two unusual figures entered and approached him.

Then he heard a voice behind him. "You are Oscar?" It was oddly intoned, almost a growl.

Oscar turned around. The woman who spoke loomed over him, easily over seven feet tall, a Junoesque figure with wild red hair wearing only a leopard-skin sarong. She seemed to be snarling at him. The other woman was only a little taller than him, covered almost entirely in a green mask and robe. Her skin was the color of old parchment, her lips reddish-black and swollen. Her eyes were yellowish-grey and she had no eyelashes whatsoever.

"Um... hi?"

The shorter woman smiled at him, exposing oddly white teeth. "Very pretty little boy. Very scientific, with the lab coat and glasses."

"Why, thank you!" Oscar beamed. "It's a brand-new labcoat, I just got it yesterday..."

The larger woman interrupted. "You will come with us."

Oscar stepped back, holding his bowling ball protectively in front of him. "I... I don't know if that's... I don't think..."

The tall woman took the ball from him, squeezing it in her hand. Oscar watched as the picture of his face cracked and crumbled to powder.

"Wh-Where're we going?"

A crowd was starting to gather. Someone stepped forward. "Hey, you! Leave that kid alone!"

The smaller woman turned. Smoke erupted from her mouth and nostrils, enveloping the entire room in fog.

"Oh..." Oscar gasped. "Oh, that _can't_ be a healthy thing to do..."

"Get him," she said to her partner between fog-blasts. "Let's go. They're waiting."

As the tall woman grabbed the back of his head and pulled him along with her, Oscar managed to twist his badge.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wonder Woman. Big deal," Agent Oren groused as he and his partner made their way to Ms. O's office.

"Wonder Woman! Yaaaaaay!"

He glared at Olaf. Olaf slumped. "Booooo."

"Why can't we get a _cool_ superhero, like Apache Chief or Werewolf By Night or Bloodwynd? It's just typical..."

"Wonder Woman!" Oren scowled at Olaf. "Boooo..."

"I just hope she can keep up with us, that's what I hope," He opened the door.

Oren's jaw dropped. Olaf looked over his shoulder. "Pretty lady..."

Several other agents were already there and Wonder Woman was patiently answering questions.

"...Well, it's not exactly talking but I can communicate telepathically with all animals..."

Agent Orchid's eyes went wide. "Even dinosaurs? We've got some really nice dinosaurs I've been taking care of... Vicky's my favorite, I named her after Victoria Woodhull ..."

Wonder Woman saw Oren standing frozen in the doorway. "Oh, hello. You're...?"

Olaf pushed past him and ran over to her. "I'm Olaf!"

"Oh, yes. Ms. O told me all about you. And you must Oren!"

Oren's mouth opened and closed. "I...I...I... Um, excuse me..." He ran to the water pitcher sitting nearby, poured a glass, and gulped it down. "I..."

Wonder Woman patted Oren's shoulder. "It's all right, Oren. Just calm down."

He stared up at her, panting slightly. "I..I...I think I love you..." He blushed and slunk away.

Olive buried her head in her hands. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's all right," Wonder Woman smiled. "He'll be fine."

Otto looked over. "Do you get that a lot?"

She shrugged. "It's why I had to stop going to San Diego Con."

Olaf stepped in front of her again. "I'm Olaf!"

"Yes, I know!" She laughed. "And I've got something for you!" She dug in her pocket and handed him a small package. "I thought you might like one of the potatoes we grow on our island."

Olive checked her notes. "That's... Themyscira, right?"

"Or Paradise Island?" Otto added.

"Either's fine. Olaf, that potato was grown by actual Amazons."

Olaf looked at it in awe. "Amazon potato..." Then he hugged her. "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"

"Um... You're welcome..."

Ms. O, meanwhile, was looking at the clock, then at her watch, then at the clock again. " **Where's Oscar?** " She fumed. "It isn't like him to be late! We usually have to kick him out at night! It..."

Suddenly, a light started flashing on Ms. O's desk console. "It's the emergency alarm! An Odd Squad agent's in trouble!"

"What?" The agents looked around to see who was missing.

"It's Oscar!" Ms. O pounded a button. The picture behind her desk flipped over to reveal a map. "I'll try to get a fix on his badge location!" Then the phone rang. " **Answer that!** "

#

Oscar, meanwhile, was being led out to the alley behind the bowling alley.

"Miss, _please,_ if you'll just..."

The tall woman didn't relent. She held his head in a viselike grip. He almost had to walk on his toes to keep her from lifting him off the ground.

The smaller woman followed, steam still trailing from her nostrils. "Pretty boy, pretty sciencey boy..." She seized Oscar's arm. " **Would you die for science? Would you kill for science?** "

"I... I..." Oscar stared as the pupil in the woman's right eye expanded to fill the entire iris, then shrank down to a pinprick. "Seriously, ma'am, you should get that looked at..."

#

"He's at 257 McFeeley Street," Ms. O checked the map. "That's..."

"Bette's Buffet And Bowling!" Otto exclaimed. Everyone looked at him. "I'm... not allowed to go there any more. Not since The Incident."

Ms. O sighed angrily. Doctor O hung up the phone. "That's where the phone call came from! There were some people there in strange outfits. They abducted a boy and used some sort of chemical fog to disable the staff and patrons."

Wonder Woman looked over. "Strange outfits? Did you get a description?"

"I'm a doctor, not a stenographer! I think the witness said one of them was in a green dress and mask and the other one was a giant in some sort of animal-skin..."

"Were they male or female?"

"The witness wasn't sure. He's not a doctor."

#

"...Should be meeting her at the costume shop in... Ah, here they are!"

The woman with the Van Dyke beard and turban tossed her cigarette to the ground, stubbing it out with the toe of her Persian slipper. Her gaudy red and yellow Arabian Nights costume shimmered in the afternoon sun. The fingernails on her right hand were so long they curled in on themselves. The fingernails on her left were painted light blue.

"Um... Hey, guys. Hey, I really like your, um, transgressive hair..."

The other woman was spectacularly overdressed in a gown and heels. Her hair was curled and dyed canary yellow. She took a long drag on her cigarette holder.

"And I really appreciate you paying attention to the restaurant's anti-smoking regulations. I mean, I realize you probably don't feel obligated, being villains and all, but... ACK!"

The overdressed woman tapped the tall woman's hand. "No, Giganta. Clea wants him alive."

"Clea hasn't had to listen to him."

Ignoring this, the woman turned to Oscar. "So," she sighed in an unrecognizable accent. "This is our little mad scientist."

"I'm NOT a mad scientist!" Oscar straightened the labels on his labcoat. "I'm a very _nice_ scientist! I don't know how these rumors get started! You accidentally blow up ONE water tower... ACK!"

"Giganta..."

The smaller woman smirked. " _I'm_ a mad scientist. I'm a _very_ mad scientist."

"Oh..." Oscar gulped. "That's... interesting. Not... Not mad at me, I hope..."

#

"Doctor Poison and Giganta," Wonder Woman nodded solemnly.

"And they've got Oscar," Olive paced. "What're we going to do?"

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do!" Ms. O shoved an Odd Squad badge into Wonder Woman's hand. " **Diana! Get down there!** You might still be able to catch them! Use the badge to keep in contact with us! "

"I've already summoned my invisible plane," Wonder Woman pinned the badge to her costume. "It's on the roof."

The door opened and a half-eaten doughnut floated in. "Hey," Agent Oz said through a mouthful of doughnut. "You know there's an invisible plane on the roof?"

"That's Agent Oz," Ms. O explained to the befuddled princess.

"I'm a long story!" Oz said proudly.

"You go with Diana, but stay out of trouble. Doctor O, you go too. And take along..." Scanning the crowd, she spotted Oren trying to hide. "Agent Oren. And be careful!"

#

"So what'd Clea want, Countess?"

The overdressed woman dropped her communicator back into her clutch-bag. "It seems there's been a phone call. Odd Squad should be here soon. Perhaps Wonder Woman as well. She's sending Cheetah, just in case."

" _Wonder Woman?_ " Oscar fairly bounced with excitement. "Oh wow, that was my Aunt Ruth's favorite comic book when she was a kid! She... ACK!"

"So we'd best get things taken care of. Hypnota?"

Giganta twisted Oscar around so he was facing the bearded woman in the turban.

"Um, guys? That _really_ hurts when you do that, could you... could you... could..."

The bearded woman's eyes glowed dark blue. Oscar's eyes turned blue in response. His mouth moved as all expression drained from his face.

"Let him go, Giganta," she said. "He'll be fine now."

Giganta released her hold on Oscar's head. He swayed slightly, blank and unblinking.

"Oscar?" She made some token mystic passes. "Oscar, can you hear and understand what I'm saying?"

Oscar nodded dully. "...yes..."

"You'll do everything we tell you. Do you understand?"

"...yes..."

"Excellent!" The Countess laughed and put her arm around Oscar's shoulders, guiding him down the street. "Come along, little genius. We have SUCH plans for you..."


	4. Chapter 4

In Ms. O's office, Octavia had retrieved her copy of **The Essential Wonder Woman Encyclopedia** from her desk and was skimming through it, making copies of villain entries to distribute to the other agents. Olive, meanwhile, was pacing back and forth.

"I should have gone with him," she insisted. "I might have been able to do something. Why didn't I go with him?"

"Because you weren't invited and we weren't here anyway," Otto responded. "If anything, it's my fault. I was worried because he never left his lab. The guy was living on bottled water and Pop Tarts. I talked him into going to Bettes..."

" **Stop it!** " Ms. O commanded. "I don't want to hear another word about whose 'fault' it is. Oscar knew the risks when he joined Odd Squad!" She swallowed, trying not to feel guilty herself. "Besides, if Villainy, Inc. were after him, they would have found a way to get him eventually. At least no one... was hurt." She'd caught herself just in time. She almost said, 'no one else.'

Olive raised an eyebrow. " _Villainy... Incorporated_?"

Ms. O scowled. "Look, _I_ didn't name them..."

"Poor Oscar," Orchid hugged her toy dinosaur. "He must be so scared."

Otto smiled and patted Orchid on the shoulder. "Don't worry. Oscar can be pretty brave when he has to be."

Olive pondered. "What do they want with him anyway?"

"That depends," Octavia projected a couple of pictures on the wall with her picture-projectionator gadget. "The people who grabbed him sound like Giganta and Doctor Poison..."

Otto raised an eyebrow. "Doctor... _Poison_?"

"The one with the mask. She's an evil scientist who creates new diseases and plagues just for the fun of it. She's even experimented on herself to turn herself into a walking chemical lab, able to create any toxin at will. She might have wanted Oscar to collaborate with her on some new project."

Olive's back stiffened. "Oscar would never do that."

"If Hypnota's controlling him," Ms. O observed, "he might not have a choice."

" _Hypnota_?"

Another picture was added to the group, this one the bearded woman in the swami costume. "Hypnota The Great, a carnival magician and bearded lady who gained mind-control powers through a freak accident and turned to crime. She..."

Olaf was sitting, arms crossed and scowling. Octavia looked at him, looked back at the picture, and blushed.

"Um, look. They're super-villains. You can't expect them to be culturally sensitive."

"Booooooo."

"Uh, anyway, she had a scam where she'd kidnap people, erase their memories, and sell them as slaves..." She noticed Orchid clutching her dinosaur. "But... I'm pretty sure she doesn't do that anymore..."

Olive closed her eyes, trying not to think about it.

"There's... There's also The Countess Draska Nishki," Octavia projected a picture of the overdressed woman. "She's a real countess, but she ran through her inheritance and turned to espionage to make money. Her business was stealing secrets and selling them to the highest bidder."

"Would she sell Oscar?" Orchid held her dinosaur close.

"If she were planning on it, we'd probably have heard from her by now," Ms. O pointed out.

They all turned to Ms. O's phone. As if on cue, it didn't ring.

After waiting a couple more seconds, they turned back to Octavia.

"Oh, the last one's Giganta, the gorilla-woman. She's the product of a strange genetic experiment, a super-strong giantess with the ferocity of a wild animal and the cunning of a human."

Otto considered this. "Why would she want Oscar?"

Octavia shrugged. "She's probably just working for someone. She usually just smashes things and kills..." Orchid stared at her. "...Hurts people."

"Well, she better not hurt Oscar," Orchid insisted, petting her dinosaur.

Olive studied the pictures. "Anyone else?"

#

A green-eyed woman in a fur costume watched from a window as Wonder Woman led the trio of Odd Squad agents into Bette's Buffet and Bowling.

"Are you all right, Agent Oren?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I... just always get queasy when I ride in transparent planes..."

"That was SO AWESOME!" Agent Oz enthused. "It was like we were flying through the sky and there was NOTHING underneath us! Like we were just HANGING in the air..."

Agent Oren was turning white again. Doctor O patted his shoulders.

"Buck up, Agent. Maybe you can get something to eat at the buffet."

Oren whimpered. Wonder Woman smiled gently at him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "It'll be okay. Just take deep breaths and calm down..."

"She's here," the green-eyed woman whispered into her communicator. "With two Odd Squad agents, a boy and a girl. Just like Hansel and Gretel." She made strange, animalistic noises in the back of her throat. "Oh, I have an idea. I have a beautiful idea. Can the others spare you a moment or two?"

#

"These people need medical treatment immediately!" Doctor O examined the various unconscious people in the restaurant. "Fortunately, I can provide that since I'm a doctor. " She began unpacking equipment from her coat pockets. "Go on, I'll be busy here."

Wonder Woman hesitated. "Are you certain you'll be all right?"

"Are you kidding?" Agent Oz laughed, grabbing the adult's arm. "She _lives_ for this stuff! Anyway, we gotta look for clues... Oh no!"

They'd entered the bowling alley part of the establishment. Wonder Woman found herself pulled along to a pile of green dust and debris. Agent Oren knelt beside it, sifting through it until he came to a fragment with a stenciled smile on it.

"Kevin!"

Wonder Woman examined the fragment. "Kevin?"

"Oscar's bowling ball. He named it Kevin."

"He... named his bowling ball Kevin?"

Agent Oren shook his head. "Look, on the list of weird stuff Oscar does, that's barely a three. What we need is a witness!" He looked around. "Isn't there anybody here who saw what happened?"

" _I_ DID!"

There was a familiar music sting as Agent Obfusco stepped out of the shadows.

Agent Oren buried his head in his hands. "Oh _no_..."

#


	5. Chapter 5

"I witnessed it! The assiduous abduction of our beloved cucumber Oscar!" Agent Obfusco waved his arms about as he leapt and spun around the room, dancing around Agent Oren, Agent Oz, and Wonder Woman. "The scandal! The horror! The insecticide! Let no one question the monument of my tiger lilies!"

Agent Oren glared. "Why doesn't someone just slap you?"

#

" The Cheetah!" Octavia projected another picture on the wall, this one showing a green-eyed lady in a yellow fur costume with black spots. "Priscilla Rich, an accomplished but narcissistic debutante and professional dancer whose intense jealousy of Wonder Woman caused her to be taken over by an evil alternate personality..."

There was a knock on the door. "Um, hi," Agent Owen stuck his head in. "Has anyone seen Agent Oscar? He's supposed to be helping me update the retina scaninator."

"He's not here," Olive answered. "He's been kidnapped by an all-female band of nefarious super-criminals as part of some sort of diabolical plot."

"Oh," Agent Owen nodded. "Well, when he gets back, could you tell him the lemon zester didn't work and I'm gonna hafta try the autoharp? Thanks." He wandered off, strumming. "And did those feeeeeeet in ancient tiiiiiiiimes..."

#

Crawling from the window of the apartment where she had been spying on the heroes, The Cheetah climbed across the wall, metal claws gouging into the brick. She leapt across the street into an open window, landing on all fours inside an office. Purring to herself, she crept across the floor until she noticed a mouse scampering nearby.

"Sanitary restaurant..."

Bounding, she caught the mouse, scooped it up, and swallowed it in one gulp. Then she stood up, opened the door, and headed downstairs.

#

"It's all right, Agent Oren," Wonder Woman calmed the fuming boy. "You must be Agent Obfusco."

Whipping off his cowboy hat, he bowed. "At your service, my most beatific mademoiselle!"

"And you saw who took Agent Oscar."

"Most assuredly! Redwood trees tremble at the very thought of it! No man is a thousandth island but many are dressing! All those who hang puce curtains are doomed! There were two women! The nape of my neck itches slightly! Cows are incapable of evil thoughts! I once danced with a komodo dragon! They met two other women in the alley behind this building! Where is love and would you go there for Hannukah? I still can see blue velvet in my dreams of blood! Let's face the facts of life but turn our backs on Tootie! The second group took Oscar away with them while the first group went in a different direction! Most deer don't play Canasta! My birthday is never on Thursday!"

"This is hopeless!"

"No it isn't, Agent Oren! Pay attention!"

Grumbling, Oren scribbled in his notebook. "Komodo dragon... Tootie..."

"I get it, Wonder Woman," Agent Oz said. He wrote invisibly in his invisible notebook.

"Can you describe the first two women?"

"Try and stop me!" Obfusco removed his hat again, revealing an Origami swan perched on his head. Sighing, Oren snatched it up.

The Cheetah balanced on the railing above them, hands and claws wrapping themselves around the metal. She watched and snarled, keeping out of sight.

#

Otto, meanwhile, was trying to calm down Agent Orchid. He was also trying to calm Olive down too, though there was no way he'd ever admit it. "Look, it'll be all right. Wonder Woman's on her way," Otto indicated the dot on the map. "And even if they've taken Oscar somewhere else, his emergency signal's still working. See the dot on the map?" He turned to face Orchid. "As long as that's there, we know exactly where Oscar is." The dot blinked off. "It just went off, didn't it? _Why_ is it always _me_? _Why_ does it always happen to _me_?"

 _#_

 _"_ Don't stop thinking about tomorrow unless you have a math test.

Overweight hamsters make the best cowboys.

Calligraphy is forbidden in the outer lobby only.

Tapioca spoils when treated with carelessness... Do I have to read them all?"

"Yes, Agent Oren, you do," Wonder Woman insisted. "Or have you figured it out yet?"

Sighing, he continued. "Odd Squad makes the scene.

Radiation seeps into my sneakers sometimes.

Please don't tell my philodendron.

Oceans away live the iguanas named... Steve... I've figured it out!"

"Great. I'm lost," Agent Oz admitted. "I mean, I got the last one, it was every fourth line, but this one doesn't make any sense."

"No, it does! Write them down! Listen! Indigo is not the only color in the sea.

Sebastian Cabot reads the poetry of Bob Barker.

Optimistic pessimists book early to save money.

Neckerchiefs are never worn with confidence. Get it?"

"Lot of good me writing it down does," Oz whined. "My notebook's invisible, I can't read it..."

"No, look at the note! It's the first letter of each word in every sentence! D. O. C. T. O. R. P.O. I. S. O. N! Doctor Poison!"

"Doctor... _Poison_?" Doctor O had rejoined them. "a villain who's poisonous to doctors? That's truly nefarious!"

"No, Doctor, she..."

"No matter. I've checked the unconscious people in the bowling alley. They were subjected to a powerful aesthetic. I had to tend to a few who had allergic reactions but they're all resting comfortably and should be fine in an hour or so."

"Great," Oren groused. "What about Oscar?"

"He's probably not having an allergic reaction. But we won't rest until he's fine in an hour or so."

"Glad to hear it," Wonder Woman turned back to Obfusco. "Speaking of Oscar, the two women who took him away..."

"Fiendish furies they were! Out of the nightmares of Bianca Jagger!"

"Okay, yes. I know this seems like a strange question..."

"That's the kind I do best!"

"...But did one of them have a beard and a turban?"

Obfusco was so stunned he forgot to obfuse. "How did you know?"

#

"Hypnota The Great. I was afraid of that," Ms. O sucked down another blast of apple juice while Wonder Woman relayed the information through her badge communicator. "The good news is we don't have to worry about how scared Oscar is. If he's in Hypnota's power, he won't know what's going on. The bad news is that he won't be able to escape on his own or send any messages telling us where he is. We'll have to find him ourselves."

"With my help, of course," Wonder Woman reminded her through the badge phone. "We'll save him. I promise." She went on. "The other two women Obfusco describes sound like Giganta and The Countess. The first pair snatched him from the bowling alley and handed him over to the second pair, who took him away."

"But why bother with two teams?" Olive asked. "Why not just send Hypnota in and have her zap him right there?"

"To confuse us," Otto nodded. "People be looking for Doctor Poison and Giganta while Hypnota and The Countess could sneak away with him unnoticed."

Olive smiled at him. "When'd you get so smart?"

Overhearing, Oren shook his head. "But wouldn't people notice a bearded lady and a countess in an evening gown anyway?"

"In _this_ town?" Ms. O drained her juice box, crushed it in her hand, and grabbed another from her desk fridge.

"So we know four of them are involved," Octavia tried to snap up the papers she'd copied dramatically and spilled them all over the floor instead. "But what about Clea and Cheetah?"

The group in headquarters heard confused shouting over their communicators. Then Wonder Woman's voice again.

"I think we're about to find out. We'll check in later."

#

Snapping shut her communicator, Wonder Woman pinned it to her uniform, striding over the broken glass toward the shattered windows of the restaurant. Oren, Oz, Doctor O and Obfusco emerged from behind the objects they'd shielded themselves with and started following her.

"No," Wonder Woman motioned them back. "You stay here. This could be dangerous."

"But... we can help..." Oren was stunned he actually said that.

"I appreciate the offer," Wonder Woman watched the speck in the sky. "But I'll have to take this to the air to minimize the risk of civilians getting caught in the crossfire." The speck grew larger. "Try to find more information about where they could have taken Oscar."

The speck grew larger and larger until it became a blond warrior woman dressed in barbaric splendor, armored and riding the back of a pterosaur. She lifted her machine gun and fired another round at the panicked crowds. Leaping through the shattered display window, Wonder Woman bounded in front of the scattering townspeople and deflected the bullets with her bracelets, running along the ground to keep pace with the swooping attack.

"WHAT in the...?"

#

"Queen Clea!" Octavia pointed to the final figure on the wall. "The cruel tyrant-ruler of Venturia, a portion of the lost continent of Atlantis which survived by fleeing into underground caves and rebuilding their civilization far from the outside world. Driven from power by Wonder Woman, Clea longs to regain her throne and take over the world! The leader of Villainy, Inc., she..."

There was a bit of commotion as the doors to the tube room opened. Then a familiar figure emerged.

"Hey, guys!" Oscar waved to the group coming out of Ms. O's office. "Back from lunch!" Then he continued on his way.

#

Wonder Woman flew into the air after Clea, who soared away on her bizarre steed. The Odd Squad team watched from the ground.

"Okay, I guess we should start looking for more clues..."

Roaring, The Cheetah hurled herself at them.

#


	6. Chapter 6

Olive and Otto were the first ones down the slides. They ran over to Oscar, who was looking around like he was lost.

"Oscar!" Grinning with relief, Otto grabbed the scientist. "What happened? Are you all right?"

Olive wasn't sure whether she wanted to hug him or beat him senseless. "We were all so worried..."

But something was off. Oscar didn't seem surprised by their reactions. "Sure I'm all right! Everthing's just fine! Nothing to worry about! I'm positively peachy!"

Olive's eyebrow lifted. "You're _what_?"

He smiled at them, scrunching up his nose. "Sorry I'm late! Traffic was awful... Which... would mean something if I had a car..." He shrugged. "It's so sweet of you to worry, though! You're SUCH a little cutie!" He pinched Otto's cheek. Otto stood there, too stunned to move. "Now I've got to take my gadgets out to, um, have them washed. And they'd probably be in my lab, which... should be over that way somewhere... Oh, I bet that's it...

"Oscar! Hey, Oscar!" They all looked over at Agent Owen, who'd just come out of the tube room. "You forgot your ticking briefcase!" He held it up.

When they looked back, Oscar was running the other way down the hall.

#

"Y'know, if you'd just _told_ us who'd taken Oscar, you could've saved us a whole chapter!"

"I wish I could. But that is not the way... _of Obfusco_!" He raised his hands over his head, snapped his fingers, and spun around in a circle. "it is a lonely path, and rarely leads to cheese Danish, but it is the way of the..."

"LOOK OUT!"

Doctor O grabbed Obfusco and pulled him backwards. That was the only thing that kept him from being decapitated by the Cheetah's claws as she dropped down amongst them. As it was, he was slashed across the chest from shoulder to belly.

" _Obfusco!_ "

The Cheetah crouched, hissing and spitting, flexing her gloved, clawed hands. She had flawless skin, a porcelain complexion, exquisitely applied blush, pink lipstick, and not a trace of sanity in her eyes.

Oren stumbled back a few steps. "Doctor O! It's The Chee..."

Doctor O cut him off. "Not now! This man's hurt!" She lowered him to the ground, ripping open his shirt to examine his wound. "Can you feel anything? Do you need something for the pain?"

The Cheetah growled, rising on her haunches.

" _Not now!_ " Doctor O shouted at her. " _I'm with a patient!_ "

The Cheetah was stalking them both, creeping forward on all fours. She leapt at them.

And that was when Agent Oz tackled her.

#

"CLEAR THE STREETS! EVERYONE, CLEAR THE STREETS!"

Most people were only too happy to comply. Others, however, stood rooted to the spot, too flabbergasted by what they were seeing to register the danger. Clea slapped a fresh magazine into her machine gun as her pterosaur mount swooped and dove, evading Wonder Woman's lasso.

"What's your game, Clea?"

"I never play games, Amazon!"

She fired off another round, not at the street but at the windows of a nearby office building. Wonder Woman just managed to fly into position to block Clea's bullets, deflecting them with her bracelets. She could hear the screams of the people inside the building as they fled to safety.

"Why are you here? What are you doing in this city?"

"If you must know, I was invited!"

Clea fired another volley, this time at a rooftop restaurant. Wonder Woman landed on the roof, blocked Clea's fire, and took off again, trying to see what Clea had packed on her saddle. She could see a few more rounds, some pistols, a sword, and a large sack... that seemed to be moving...

Another round, this time straight at her. More bullets and bracelets.

"You're wasting your time, Clea! Back home, we do this for sport!"

"It's not my time I'm wasting, Amazon!"

Another round.

#

Octavia ran her scaninator over the briefcase. "It's a bomb," she told Ms. O. "One of Doctor Poison's. There's enough explosive to blow up this entire building and enough neurotoxin to wipe out the entire city!"

Ms. O nodded. "Agent Owen! Can you deactivate it?"

"Wha...? I... Sure I can deactivate it!" Agent Owen said, not at all sure he could deactivate it. He struggled to figure out the lock. "It's... You just cut the red wire, that's what you do, once you cut the red wire..."

He popped open the briefcase. There was an enormous tangle of wires, all of them red.

"Okay, this is a problem..."

#

"It's not too deep, but we need to stop the bleeding..."

Doctor O continued to work on Obfusco's wound as Agent Oz knocked the Cheetah away from them. Agent Oren heard him grunt when he hit her; he said later it was like running into a tree. She struggled with the invisible force trying to restrain her, then smiled.

"Of course. I thought there was someone else here."

Agent Oren stumbled toward them, pulling out his shield, trying to think of what gadgets he had on him, if any of them would be of any use, and what in the world he was going to do. The Cheetah easily broke Oz's grip and grabbed his wrists.

"Thank you for telling me where you are."

Then she threw him into a wall.

Oren heard Oz yelp as he hit the far wall, saw the plaster crack, and heard him moan as he slid to the floor. The Cheetah bounded across the room, crouched, and licked his invisible face.

"Invisible boys taste the same as other boys. Sugar and salt and terror..."

She bared her fangs, licking her lips. Grabbing the first gadget he could, he pointed it at her and fired.

A stream of ice cold strawberry soda sprayed the Cheetah in the face.

She didn't like that at all.

#

"OSCAR! OSCAR, STOP!"

Oscar sprinted down the Hall of Doors, periodically pausing a moment to see if he could open one of the doors. They were all locked, something he should have known. Olive and Otto were right on his heels.

"OSCAR!"

Olive nudged Otto and indicated they split up. Otto ran back to a connecting hall.

"OSCAR!"

When he made the next turn, Otto was waiting for him. Oscar stopped, looking back. Olive was behind him.

"Give up, Oscar," she said, walking towards him. "We don't want to hurt you."

Oscar smirked. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Olive dear."

Then he vanished, leaving only a pile of clothes where he'd stood.

#

Clea was momentarily out of ammunition. Wonder Woman seized the opportunity to use her lasso, catching Clea's gun and yanking it out of her hands.

"No more, Clea," she said, pulling the gun up to her and smashing it to pieces. "Surrender."

Clea sneered. "Don't be ridiculous."

Wonder Woman circled down towards her. "You know you can't outfly me on that thing."

"Perhaps not. But I know what you're after."

Reaching behind her, Clea pulled a small, squirming figure out of her sack. Hooded and manacled, the little figure in the dress slacks and lab coat struggled in her grip.

"It looks like you can do me one more service, manling. And now..."

She hurled him one-handed into the air, far from where Wonder Woman hovered. He disappeared into the horizon.

"...We're through!"

As Wonder Woman flew after the little figure, Clea made a hasty retreat.

#


	7. Chapter 7

Olive and Otto stared at the pile of clothes sitting where Oscar had just been, then at each other.

"What the..."

A snake darted out from under the clothes, slithering over Otto's foot.

"GAAAH!" He jumped back.

Startled, the snake twisted around and transformed into Odd Squad's old enemy...

"THE SHAPE-SHIFTER!" Olive and Otto said simultaneously.

Grimacing at them, she turned and resumed running down the hall. With no other choice, Otto and Olive resumed chasing her, just as the emergency sirens started.

#

Dripping with strawberry soda, The Cheetah lunged at Agent Oren. He blocked her with his shield just in time.

"Oboy..."

She slashed at him again, and again, and again and again, metal claws sparking against the shield. Through adrenaline, luck, and panic, he blocked most of her blows, though his glasses were snagged and thrown halfway across the room.

"Omigod... Omigod... Ogod..."

He backed away until he was flat against the wall and dropped down in a crouch, holding the shield in front of him with both hands. The Cheetah's pounding sounded like a hailstorm as she raged at him, howling and shrieking, screaming in seven different voices simultaneously.

He had to keep her focused on him. Doctor O was still tending to Obfusco's injury. Agent Oz was making little sounds where he'd fallen; since he was invisible, it was impossible to tell how badly hurt he was. Doctor O would have to take care of him next. And there was an entire roomful of helpless, unconscious people just past the door.

His arms were starting to throb.

#

Wonder Woman had no choice but to let Clea escape. She instead raced to catch the shackled, squirming boy in the labcoat as he plummeted toward the ground.

" _It's all right!_ " She yelled at the hooded figure, hoping he could hear. " _I'm on my way! Go limp!_ "

He went limp, though whether it was because he'd heard her or he'd fainted, she couldn't tell. She flew beneath him, matched his speed, slid her arms underneath him, and caught him, slowing down gradually so he wouldn't suffer whiplash or worse.

"It's all right. It's all right. I've got you now. You're safe."

He hadn't fainted. He pressed against her, trying to reach out to her with his chained hands. His voice was muffled and indistinct.

"I have a bad feeling about that hood..." She removed it. The frightened boy looked up at her, a gag stuffed in his mouth.

"Agent O'Conner, I presume. Here, let me get you out of these chains and we'll head back to the others. I have a bad feeling about them, too."

#

 **"EVACUATE THE BUILDING! EVACUATE THE BUILDING! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"** Ms. O's voice boomed from the loudspeakers all around Odd Squad headquarters. **"REMAIN CALM AND EXIT THE BUILDING IN AN ORDERLY MANNER! REMAIN CALM AND EXIT IN AN ORDERLY MANNER! AGENT OONA, THAT IS NOT AN ORDERLY MANNER!"**

The Shape-Shifter, meanwhile, was still running down the Hall of Doors, trying doors at random. Agent Olive was in close pursuit.

"How do you get _out_ of this madhouse? That bomb's set to go off any second!"

Spotting an open door, she ran inside. Otto slammed and locked the door behind her.

As her eyes adjusted to the light, The Shape-Shifter realized she was in a large, barn-like structure. And she wasn't alone. The Chupacabras looked up curiously from the goat carcass they were feeding on. They advanced, sniffing, making little peeping noises.

"Get me out of here..." She turned and banged on the door. " _Get me out of here, get me out of here, right now, you..._ " She pounded on the door.

Otto and Olive high-fived each other.

"Think we should tell her Chupabacabras don't eat people?"

"Nah. She'll figure it out eventually."

" _Open this door or I'll kick your rotten heads in!"_ Poundpoundpoundpoundpound. " _Mommy!"_

 _#_

Agent Owen ran into the tube lobby, ticking briefcase under his arm. The agent on duty had been evacuated so he was alone. He hurried over to the computer console and punched in an emergency code.

"IcandothisIcandothisIcandothis..."

Briefcase in hand, he positioned himself in one of the tubes. "Prepare to squishinate! Squishinating!" The machine compressed him into a ball and shot him into a complicated maze of tubes and passages.

Moments later on the dark side of the moon, a small figure emerged from a crater, flung a briefcase into the air, and ducked back in the crater, disappearing in a flash of light.

The bomb exploded harmlessly in airless space.

#

Agent Oren's arms no longer throbbed. Now they just flat-out hurt.

A few feet away, Agent Oz was trying to stand up. "Gotta do somethin', I... Ooooo..." There was a thud as he fell back down.

"Agent Oz! Keep still!" Doctor O commanded.

"I gotta help, she's gonna... Oboy..."

"You can't help if you injure yourself more! Just stay still! I'll be with you in a moment!"

The Cheetah's attention turned toward them. Oren banged her nose with his shield to get her to focus on him again. Besides keeping her away from the others, he also had to keep her angry. If she paused to think a moment, she might realize she could simply yank the shield out of his hands.

She slashed at him again. Then she stopped. Looking up at the air, she hissed, then leapt away. She bounded back up the way she came and disappeared.

Seconds later, Wonder Woman burst in, Agent O'Conner in tow. "Oh, Hera..."

"Wonder Woman! The Cheetah!"

Flying the way Doctor O and Oren pointed, Wonder Woman disappeared through the door The Cheetah had just ducked through. She was back a moment later.

"She's gone. I'm sorry. The Cheetah's speed more than matches that of her namesake." Spotting Agent Oren's glasses, she flew down and retrieved them for him.

Agent Oren had lowered his shield but was still crouched against the wall, staring into space. Wonder Woman handed him his glasses. "Agent Oren, are you all right?"

"I... I... I think I'm going to cry..." Swallowing hard, he slipped the glasses back on. "Oh, ow. Oh, ow..." He massaged his sore arms. "I'd better get an 'Oren Is Awesome' song out of this or something..."

"I should have known..." Wonder Woman knelt beside Obfusco while Doctor O went to tend to Oz. "I should never have left you alone and unguarded..."

"No," Agent Oz responded. "You should've let the crazy lady on the pterodactyl shoot everyone."

"He's right," Doctor O said. "They really gave you no other choice."

"And we're okay, we... Ooooo..."

Leaving Obfusco sedated and sleeping, Wonder Woman joined Doctor O, who'd donned her infra-red goggles to examine Agent Oz.

"How is he?"

"I'm okay, I... Oboy... I just... Dizzy is all..." Wonder Woman caught him as he fell down. "Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up..."

Smiling gently, Wonder Woman lowered him to the ground. "I've never seen an invisible boy throw up."

"I have," Doctor O resumed her examination. "It's a spectacle. Someday, I'll post it on Youtube." She removed her goggles. "No bones broken but I think he has a concussion. And Obfusco will need stitches. They'll recover, but we need to get them to the infirmary as soon as possible."

Wonder Woman nodded. "Can you three manage Agent Oz? I'll get Obfusco."

#

" _If you le_ _t me get killed in here, I'm gonna kill you!_ " Bangbangbangbangbang. " _Are you listening to me?_ "

Otto motioned to the door. "How many times has she snuck in here before?"

Olive shook her head. "That's what I don't understand. Usually, she can't get in. The security scanners would detect... Oh no..."

She raced back to the pile of clothes The Shape-Shifter had discarded, Otto following.

"Oh, no!" Kneeling beside the clothes, Olive examined the badge and went through the pockets. "This is Oscar's uniform!"

#


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you sure they're Oscar's clothes?"

"They're Oscar's, all right. He must've stopped at the newsstand for this week's magazines," Olive pulled a stack of periodicals from one of the pockets of the discarded labcoat. "Do you know anyone else who reads **The Wall Street Journal, Fortean Times, Highlights For Kids, Maxim,** and **Pet Fancy**? That's how The Shape-Shifter was able to get through the security scanners. It read Oscar's badge and uniform code and let her through."

Still locked in the Chubacapras room, the Shape-Shifter was screaming, " _You let me out of here! Get those... those things away from me! Help!_ " Brief pause. " _Oh my God, they're sniffing me!_ "

Otto and Olive had been joined in the Hall by Ms. O, Orchid, and Owen. Wonder Woman had returned moments ago and Octavia and Olaf had gone to see their partners in the infirmary.

"But... If they're Oscar's clothes..." Orchid hugged her toy dinosaur. "Where's Oscar?"

"indoors, I hope..." Owen poked at the garments.

"They wouldn't have... They wouldn't have..." Orchid's eyes teared up. They all knew Villainy, Inc. definitely would have. She buried her face in her dinosaur's side. "Poor Oscar!"

Agent Owen swallowed hard.

Otto bowed his head. "He was like the Dalmatian I never had..."

Olive shook her head. "But... why would they kidnap him just to steal his clothes so The Shape-Shifter could sneak in here and plant a bomb? It doesn't make any sense!"

Ms. O, meanwhile, had plucked the wire-frame glasses from under the clothes and was examining them. "Agents, have you ever seen Oscar without his glasses?"

Otto pondered. "I... don't think so..."

Olive shook her head again. "Of course not. He can barely see without them. But why...?"

Ms. O handed her the glasses. "Look through them."

Holding the glasses up to her eyes, Olive gasped. "They're ordinary window-glass!"

She handed them to Otto so he could see. "These can't be Oscar's!" He handed them to Orchid, who put them on her dinosaur.

Owen was still trying to figure it out. "So everything's his except the glasses?"

"Then that means Oscar still has his glasses! They didn't take them!" Orchid rocked her dinosaur in her arms. "And that means he's alive!

"Why would that mean he's alive?" Owen asked.

Ms. O smiled and let them figure it out.

"Well, think about it!" Orchid responded. "Why wouldn't they take the glasses? It must be because they need Oscar to be able to see so he can do something for them!"

"Like what?"

Otto figured it out first. "Build gadgets! They want him to build gadgets for them!"

Ms. O nodded. "Gadgets... Or maybe one particular gadget."

Olive looked up. "So as long as they still need him, he's safe. But what about when he's done?"

#

Miles away in Clea's underground lair, Oscar was working, his eyes still bright blue. He sang to himself, lost in some hypnotically-induced reverie.

"Heeee always runs while others walk, da-da-DAH-da, he acts while other men just talk, he looks at the world and wants it all, and he strikes... DAH! DAH! DAH! DAH! DAH! Like thunderball..."

Giganta glared. "Can I _please_ kill him?"

Clea restrained her. "Not yet. Soon." He strolled past them to get more equipment, the ears of his bunny rabbit costume flopping jauntily. Clea looked at Hypnota. "Couldn't you have found something less... conspicuous for him to wear?"

Hypnota shrugged. "It was the first thing I found in his size. I didn't want to stay in that shop too long. It gave me the creeps." She lit another cigarette. "Would you believe it was run by singing chickens?"

"It... What?"

"Singing chickens," She shook her head. "One of them was wearing a tie and horn-rimmed glasses. I can't wait to get back home. This city's just weird."

"Never mind her, Hypnota," The Cheetah purred, slinking around the cavern. "The costume suits him perfectly. He looks like just a little candy bunny." She licked Obfusco's blood off her claws. "I can hardly wait until Easter morning..."

Hypnota nudged The Countess. "Hard to believe she used to be a debutante, eh?"

The Countess puffed on her cigarette holder. "Clearly, you don't know very many debutantes, dear." She removed the butt end of her cigarette and stubbed it out on Oscar's cheek as he walked past with a screwdriver and some lightbulbs. Being entranced, he didn't even notice.

Placing a fresh cigarette in her holder, The Countess looked around the cave, at the circuit boards, the elaborate wiring, the Christmas tree balls floating in a saline solution in the corner. "Busy little bunny, isn't he? I wonder if we could get anything for him..."

"From Odd Squad?" Hypnota snorted. "You'd get paid in Zagnut bars."

"Hypnota's right," Clea said, watching Oscar untangle a string of blinking lights. "Besides, if he can devise a weapon like this, he can devise a means to stop it. It's safer to kill him here."

"Also more fun," Giganta added.

"Yes, yes," The Countess acquiesced. "But it does seem like a shame to waste such a remarkable brain..."

"His brain? Oh, don't worry about his brain." Doctor Poison produced a large glass tank festooned with wires. "I have plans for that."

#

"But what about when he's done?" Olive pondered.

"We'll just have to find him before that happens," Wonder Woman answered. She strode into the hall, accompanied by Octavia and Olaf, who was carrying Oren in his arms.

"Oren safe..." Olaf hugged him like a puppy until Oren gasped for breath. "Was so worried..."

"PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN! I'M FINE! I'M FINE!" Oren struggled until Olaf finally let him go. "This is turning into _such_ a lousy day..."

"Agent Olive! You fill Octavia, Olaf, and Oren in on what we've figured out!" Ms. O grabbed Wonder Woman's arm. "Diana, I need to see you in the math room!"

She twisted her badge the opposite direction Oscar had twisted his several chapters ago, grabbed Wonder Woman, and spun with her in a cloud of purplish light until they disappeared.

Otto looked at Olive. "Do you think she's gonna yell at _her_?"

But in the math room, Ms. O wasn't yelling. She was shaking. "I sent Oz along because he was late for the meeting and Oren because he was being a jerk... They could have been _killed..._ "

"They weren't," Wonder Woman smoothed her hair. "They made a lot of mistakes but all of them were very brave and protected one another. They're quite capable warriors. You trained them well."

Ms. O shook her head. "I spent eleven years training children how to be warriors. I never want to do it again. Now I just want to train them how to do math and solve mysteries.'

Wonder Woman smiled sadly. "I can do this by myself if you'd prefer..."

"No," Ms. O shook her head. "They need to know they can do this. And they _can_ do this."

When they returned to the Squad, the team was still debating the villains' motives.

"But even if they wanted to kidnap Oscar, why attack Odd Squad?" Octavia asked. "Why would they bother going after us?"

"To make me angry," Wonder Woman answered. "And they've succeeded."

#


	9. Chapter 9

Doctor O was showing Ms. O her medical report for the injured Agents.

"Agent Oz should be fine after a few days bedrest. Obfusco's had his stitches and is coming along well."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"No, thank _you_ , Doctor."

"I'm not a doctor."

"I know. I was suggesting a different enunciation."

Ms. O sighed.

Meanwhile, Otto and Olive had led Wonder Woman to the door of the Chupacabras Room where The Shape-Shifter was trapped. The other Agents trailed along.

" _Oh please, l_ _et me OUT of here!_ " The Shape-Shifter pounded on the door. " _You can't leave me in here with these things! You're supposed to be the good guys! PLEASE!_ " Pause. " _Oh dear Lord, I think they're circling me..._ "

"Shape-Shifter!" Wonder Woman stood on the other side of the door. "We'll let you out. But you must promise not to escape."

 _"Oh, I promise!_ "

"I assure you that you will not be harmed if you cooperate. But I will not tolerate any trickery. You cannot escape me. Do you promise?"

" _I PROMISE, I PROMISE, I PROMISE_!"

Wonder Woman nodded to Owen. "Open it."

He opened the door and a bird flew out, laughing in The Shape-Shifter's voice as it soared over their heads. "I LIED!"

"I didn't."

Without even looking up, Wonder Woman snatched the bird from the air and dashed it to the ground, where it changed back into The Shape-Shifter. Before any of The Odd Squad agents could even blink, Wonder Woman's lasso was knotted around her.

"As long as you're caught in my lasso, you will be unable to change shape and you will answer all our questions truthfully," Wonder Woman told the struggling, snarling villain. "Abducting Agent Oscar was your idea, wasn't it?"

Otto's mouth fell open. "No WAY!"

The Shape-Shifter looked away. "I... might have suggested something about it on AVEC..."

Otto looked over at Olive. "AVEC?"

"The Arch-Villain Evil Chatroom," she explained. "Super-villains post there about their plots and things."

"How could you _do_ that?" Octavia demanded. "You barely even know Oscar! Why would you turn him over to those... those..."

"They're Villainy, Inc!" The Shape-Shifter responded fiercely. "The greatest all-female super-villain team ever! I mean, one of the biggest bad guys here is a guy who tries to get you to guess the number of jelly beans in his jar and dumps chocolate syrup on you if you get it wrong! I'm not even sure if that's illegal! They were complaining they needed a tech person since The Snowman's not available..."

"The Snowman?"

"Another Wonder Woman villain," Octavia explained.

"She had an Ovarian cyst that had to be removed," Wonder Woman added. "We transferred her from our rehabilitation colony on Transformation Island to our hospital so she wasn't able to participate in their recent escape."

Otto was lost. "Wait a minute. The Snowman is a woman?"

Wonder Woman, Octavia, Ms. O, and Olive simultaneously: "Long story."

"...Anyway, they said they were looking for someone they could use, a pawn they could exploit and discard." The Shape-Shifter smiled. "So I suggested Oscar."

"Why, you..." Otto and Owen had to hold Olive back. Orchid, however, kicked the villain in the shins.

Wonder Woman was scowling. "And so, because you wanted to impress six homicidal maniacs, a young boy is missing, two more have been injured, and you came within an inch of blowing up the entire city, and yourself along with it."

This surprised The Shape-Shifter. "They told me that bomb would just take out the jump tubes..."

Otto smirked. "They lied. Villains do that sometimes."

Olive crossed her arms. "I guess they needed another pawn they could use and discard."

The Shape-Shifter looked chagrined. "I'm taking down all my posters the minute I get home."

"Very droll," Wonder Woman tightened the lasso into a noose around The Shape-Shifter's neck. "But my patience for whimsy has become quite thin. Now, you will tell us... **where is Agent Oscar?** "

"I...I don't know!" The Shape-Shifter gasped. "I swear, they didn't tell me where they were taking him! We just met at the costume shop, switched clothes, they gave me the bomb and I came here!"

As Wonder Woman removed her lasso, Agent Owen snapped the special power-negating bands on the villainess. He and his squadron of Agents led The Shape-Shifter away to the holding cages.

"The police will be along to pick her up," Ms. O assured Wonder Woman and the other agents. "And she'll probably be away longer than she's used to. Accessory to kidnapping, attempted murder..."

Agent Orchid sighed. "So we're back where we started!"

Wonder Woman gathered up the clothes. "We still have these. They're our only clue. We'll have to examine them thoroughly."

Olaf looked at the clothes. He sniffed at them.

Orchid made a face. "That is so totally gross..."

Then he howled.

Oren ran over. "He's got a scent!"

Otto took a step backward. "Well, I wasn't going to say anything..."

"No, I mean he's got Oscar's scent!"

"Well, okay, it isn't THAT bad..."

Olive's eyes narrowed.

"Well, I mean, they haven't made Hai Karate in years, how is he still wearing it?"

"Well, at least he wears _something_..."

Otto's face reddened. " _What_ are you implying?"

Agent Oren was clenching his teeth. "He. Has. Oscar's. Scent! So he can trail him! Like a bloodhound! Get it?"

Otto nodded. "Ohhhhhh..."

Ignoring him, Oren leapt on Olaf's back. "Tally-ho!" Olaf charged off, carrying Oren piggyback.

"After them!" Ms. O commanded her other agents. "Orchid, you stay here with Owen and hold down the fort."

Doctor O grabbed her shoulders. "It's in my office. But be careful. It's a wily one."

Orchid shook her head as Doctor O and Wonder Woman followed the others down the hall.

#

About thirty blocks and a half-hour later, Olaf collapsed.

"Over... Over there somewhere..." Olaf gestured into the distance and flopped down on his face. Oren stepped off his back and joined the others, who'd just caught up with him.

"Olaf?" Wonder Woman knelt down beside the exhausted boy. "Olaf, are you all right?"

Olaf grunted. "Legs hurt. Gonna rest. Night-night..." A moment later, he was sound asleep.

"It's okay," Oren assured everyone. "He'll be fine in an hour or two..."

"An hour or two?" Octavia fretted. "That might be too late!"

Olive looked down at the worn-out Olaf, then glared at Oren. "You know, if he hadn't had to carry you..."

"Hey, I just went one-on-one with The Cheetah!" Oren responded defensively.

" _Enough_ , Oren. Olive." Wonder Woman took charge of the situation. "He's brought us this far. Perhaps we can extrapolate from what we know and figure out the villains' hideout ourselves."

All the Agents looked around. They were a ways outside of town, near the local beach.

"You said Clea's from an underground remnant of Atlantis," Olive asked Octavia. Octavia nodded. "Maybe she's set up headquarters in one of the caves near the ocean..."

"But which one?" Otto rubbed the back of his head.

Just then, there was an explosion. And another, and another. Smoke bombs sent off plumes of colored gas, red, orange, green, yellow, and purple, as mocking laughter echoed around them.

Then a figure stepped through the fog, a familiar figure in a motley, multi-colored costume. His eyes burned with fanaticism and stung from smoke. His hair stuck up crazily in all directions. He laughed triumphantly.

"Yes! Yes, it is true, my little oddlings!" He struck a pose. "Your worst nightmares have come true! It is I, Odd Todd!"

#


	10. Chapter 10

Stepping out of the multi-colored fog, Odd Todd struck a ferocious pose. "Yes, my little oddlings! It is I! Odd Todd! I've..."

The entire Squad walked past him. He stood there, stunned. **"Hey!"**

"Not now, Todd," Olive growled.

Odd Todd blinked. "I... It's ODD Todd now, oh beauteous former partner! I've kidnapped your beloved hamster..."

"Well, put him back. We're busy right now."

As The Squad continued walking, Odd Todd ran to get in front of them again. "But I've... Come on, guys, I've gone through a lot of trouble here! I kidnapped your hamster! Really!" He did a double take. "Hey, is that Wonder Woman? Oh man, I've always wanted to be captured by her!" The Squad passed him again. He ran back in front of him and struck a pose. "That's right! I, Odd Todd, have..."

Olive sighed. "Look. We really don't have time right now. Wonder Woman's arch-enemies Villainy, Inc. have kidnapped Oscar. We'll deal with you later, okay?" She ducked past him and ran to catch up with the others. "What about that pterosaur Clea was riding? Maybe we can track that..."

"But... But... But..." Odd Todd ran after them, then stopped dead. "Wait a minute. That was today? I thought that was next week."

That stopped them. The entire Squad turned to look at him as he checked the calendar on his cell phone. "Yep. Yep, it's today." He sighed. "Great. You know how much smoke bombs cost? I'm gonna hafta get a whole new batch and keep that stupid hamster overnight..."

Olive's eyes narrowed. "You _knew_ about this?"

Otto's eyes narrowed as well. "You heard about them planning to kidnap Oscar so you copied their plan and kidnapped our _hamster_? That's lame even for you, Odd Todd!"

"Hey, I came up with that plan _months_ before... **Whadya mean, 'even for me'**?"

Ms. O stepped forward. "But you knew about the plan to kidnap Oscar."

Odd Todd shrugged. "Sure. It's been all over AVEC for weeks."

Ms. O sighed. "We've _got_ to start monitoring that site. Agent Olan, make a note of that."

Agent Olan scribbled in his notepad. "Monitor AVEC site. Yes, ma'am!" He saluted and ran off.

"Wait a minute," Agent Oren looked around, confused. "Where'd he come from?"

I even suggested the..." He suddenly realized Wonder Woman was approaching him. "I, uh, think I'd..."

He was lassoed before he could take another step.

"No! NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME, YOU CAN'T... Oboy, you can, can't you?" Odd Todd squirmed in the lasso.

"You gave them information and helped them find a hideout, didn't you?"

"Uh... Um..." Odd Todd swallowed. "Would it help if I said I was really sorry and promised never to do it again?"

"Not really, no." Wonder Woman looked at him. " _Would_ you do it again?"

"Um... Well, not this, specifically..."

She shook her head.

"Would it help if I begged and pleaded and burst into tears?"

"No."

"Can I beg and plead and burst into tears anyway?"

"If you must."

"Thank you," Odd Todd dropped to his knees, sobbing. " _PLEEEEEEEASE , PLEEEEEEEEASE, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE DON'T MAKE ME RAT OUT VILLAINY, INC! It took me forever to get on AVEC, I'll violate the No-Tattletale Code, I'll be in SO much trouble..._ "

"Fine," Wonder Woman said grimly. The Agents all looked at her. "I'll give you a choice. You can tell us where Villainy, Inc. have taken Oscar..."

"Please don't make me..."

"Or you can tell us the fantasies you've had where I've captured you."

All the color drained out of Odd Todd's face. "In front of everyone?"

"In front of everyone."

The Agents all looked at him. He swallowed.

"W-W-Well, I... You... You capture me... And you tie me up... And you say I've been a very bad boy..."

Olive put her hands over Otto's ears. After a moment, she took Otto's hands and put them over her own ears.

"And... And you take out the wooden spoon... And... And... And..." He sobbed. "Oscar's in the third cave on the cliffside by McKeon's Beach, just past the old surf shop near the lighthouse." He slumped. "Okay? Are you happy now?"

"That's all we needed to know," She removed her lasso from the shivering boy. "I'm sorry, Odd Todd. It was absolutely necessary."

"This is so totally humiliating..."

"Oh, and give back the hamster."

He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out the hamster, and handed it to Otto, who cooed and petted it.

"That's a good little hamster, that's a sweet little hamster..."

Meanwhile, Agent Olaf rose from his nap and hurried to catch up with the others. "I back now."

Odd Todd shook his head. "I'm never gonna live this down, I hope you're satisfied..."

"Oh, don't worry, Odd Todd," Wonder Woman smiled. "The No-Tattletale Code has an exemption for magic lassos. You can check it when you get home. You'll be fine."

Otto blinked. "Wait. It's written down somewhere?"

Odd Todd nodded. "I got a packet in the mail after I turned evil."

"You got a _packet?_ "

"They all do," Wonder Woman explained. "It's sort of like a twelve-step program in reverse."

Otto pondered this while Odd Todd stumbled to his feet, straightening his suit and trying to retrieve a shred of dignity. "All this work and I didn't get a single thing out of it. I can't believe this, I'll be the laughing stock of AVEC, nobody's gonna want me in their evil team..."

"All right, Todd, all right. Hold on," Olive whispered something to Ms. O, who then whispered in turn to Agent Olan.

"Wait," Oren blinked. "He's _back?_ "

"Someone had to pick up the hamster." Otto handed it over to Agent Olan, who scampered off on his mission, returning moments later.

Some time later, Odd Todd was strolling through the park, kicking pigeons, barking at toddlers and singing happily to himself.

"A youth, who's already uncouth, wants to meet, pretty girls in the street, with a plan, Jack The Ripper began... _That's Entertainment!_ "

Periodically, he'd pause and caress the box of Zagnut Bars in his hands.

"Mine... All mine..."

Meanwhile, Odd Squad and Wonder Woman were headed toward McKeon's Beach.

#

"But what was that about a wooden spoon? What wooden spoon? Wonder Woman doesn't carry a wooden spoon. I don't..."

"Let it _go_ , Octavia..."

"But I don't _understand_. Why would Wonder Woman have a wooden spoon? And why would..."

Ms. O sighed. "Fine. You see, Octavia, when a super-heroine and an arch-villain hate each other very much..."

The team were descending down a long path from the third cavern into the bowels of the Earth. Ms. O and Wonder Woman led the way, Ms. O illuminating the darkness with a lampinator gadget. As they went deeper and deeper, they began noticing odds and ends, debris littering the otherwise empty caves.

"Discarded food packets... Empty gasoline cans... A used lipstick?"

Oren picked it up and handed it to Wonder Woman. She examined it.

"Sapphire red. That's The Countess' shade. We're on the right track."

The path forked, leading into two pitch-black caverns. The Agents all looked at one another.

"What do we do now?"

Olive pondered. "Should we split up? Or..."

Suddenly, they heard a noise. Something was moving in the cavern on the left.

"Stand back," Wonder Woman cautioned. She readied her lasso as a small shadow moved in the recesses of the pit.

"It's coming this way!" Ms. O motioned for her Agents to get ready. "Everyone! Prepare your gadgets!"

The kids checked their pockets, trying to find a good defensive gadget to use. The figure grew closer, finally stepping into the light.

"Hi, guys!"

The Agents stared. "Agent Ori?"

Clambering over the lip of the cavern, Ori waved at the assembled Agents. "If you want the weird, scary ladies in the funny costumes, they're over in that other tunnel." He indicated the cavern on the right.

"Great." Otto tried to see past him into the darkness. "So what's down that one?"

"Dero," Ori shrugged. "Don't worry, though. I took care of 'em." Blowing on the barrel of his ray gun, he strolled past them back toward the surface. "Have fun, guys!"

They headed into the cavern on the right.

#

The Countess was applying a fresh coat of sapphire red when she noticed a flashing light. "Someone's tripped the alarm."

"Probably Wonder Woman," Clea rose from her throne. "She might even have The Odd Squad with her."

"What a shame she's too late," Cheetah chuckled.

Behind them, a hypnotized Oscar tightened the last screw on the death ray.

#


	11. Chapter 11

"What is it with super-people and caves?"

Wonder Woman walked beside Agent Otto. "It's often less conspicuous than finding and refurbishing a building. Besides," she smiled. "It suits some people's moods."

Otto returned the smile. "You've been in the Batcave?"

"A few times. Sometimes even when he's not there," Wonder Woman looked around. "He's still a bit angry with me for the time I stuck that bumper sticker on the Batmobile. He drove around for the better part of a week with 'I Brake For Garage Sales' before he finally noticed..." She realized Oren was very pale, fidgeting with a gadget he'd taken from his pocket. "Agent Oren? Are you all right?"

He nodded. "I'm fine."

She exchanged looks with Ms. O. He'd almost been killed by The Cheetah less than two hours ago. "If you'd prefer, we could have you..."

He shook his head and looked toward Olaf. "He... He gets nervous if I'm not there to translate for him..."

She put her hand on his shoulder. "It will be okay."

He nodded. "I'm fine."

They continued down the path. The Cheetah crept silently through the shadows back to her compatriots.

#

Giganta moved toward the mesmerized Oscar, who stood motionless and blank-faced in his bunny costume. "Kill the wabbit..."

"Not now," Clea commanded.

Giganta growled. "He's finished. You said when he was finished..."

"We might need him as a hostage," She rose from her throne and selected her weapons. "There will be plenty of other children for you to kill."

Giganta glowered. "But then I will come back and kill him." She turned to Hypnota. "Wake him up first. I want him to know. I want to see the fear in his eyes."

Hypnota stubbed out her cigarette. "I wouldn't have it any other way, dear."

The Cheetah skittered back into the cave. "I saw them. Seven children and Wonder Woman."

"Oh, how adorable," The Countess Draska Nishki checked her hair in her compact. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"What about the others?" Doctor Poison asked. "The rest of the Odd Squad?"

"They're easily done away with." The Countess opened her clutch bag and removed a small gadget she'd liberated from Oscar earlier. After adjusting some controls, she pressed a button.

#

Back at headquarters, The Shape-Shifter had been taken away to jail. Now Owen and Orchid were sitting in the main room playing Connect Four.

"Gotcha again!" Orchid dropped a token into place. "Four across!"

Owen fumed. "I can't believe we still have this dumb game..."

Orchid checked the other board games in the cupboard. "How about The Bigfoot Game? I don't think I've ever played that..."

There was a rustling and a shuffling all around them as, unnoticed, the Oscarbots began to emerge from their various hiding places. They moved toward Owen and Orchid, who were too preoccupied sorting through the games to see them at first. Finally, Orchid sensed someone behind her and turned around.

"Oscar?" She smiled.

The Oscarbots' eyes turned red. "DES-TROY! DES-TROY! DES-TROY!"

Orchid screamed.

#

Wonder Woman and Ms. O both looked up. "They're coming," they said simultaneously.

A spear flew at Ms. O. She caught it in mid-air before it could hit her.

"Diana!" she said. "Take Olive and go find Oscar!"

Wonder Woman looked at her. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," she nodded to her team, Otto, Oren, Olaf, Octavia, and Doctor O. "We can handle Villainy, Inc."

Otto's jaw dropped. "We CAN?"

The Cheetah leapt at him from out of the shadows, slashing at his jacket. He dodged just in time.

Oren fumbled with the device in his hand. "Okay, this time I'm ready for you! I'm gonna..."

Hypnota The Great gestured at him, her eyes glowing blue.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna..." The gadget fell from his hand. "Quack..." He flapped his arms, running around in little circles. "Quack, Quack! Quack!"

Hypnota laughed.

Doctor Poison approached Doctor O, who backed away.

"Pretty face... Pretty, pretty face..."

Carbolic acid dripped from her hands.

"Let's melt it."

Queen Clea strode toward Ms. O, swinging her swords before her. "Oprah. So we meet again."

"So we do." She held the spear with both hands in front of her like a quarter-staff. "You never learn, do you?"

"I've learned more than you think, little girl." The swords came down. Ms. O blocked them with the staff. The battle was on.

Octavia was looking around so frantically she almost didn't see Giganta's fist heading toward her.

"Oh... Omigosh..."

She ducked just in time and ran away, screaming. Giganta lumbered after her.

Olive stood by Wonder Woman.

"That's... That's not all of them..."

"No," Wonder Woman picked Olive up and tucked her under one arm. "There's still The Countess." They flew down the tunnel.

#

They found the villains' hideout a few miles in, a welter of oddly mismatched furniture, a throne, and dozens of computer banks. And an enormous device sitting in the exact center of the cavern.

"Oh..."

"This must be what they had Oscar build for them..."

"Of course it is, Princess," The Countess Draska Nishki stepped out from behind a curtain, leading the entranced Oscar by the hand. Olive did a double-take at the bunny suit.

"Oscar!"

Wonder Woman put Olive down and motioned her to one side. "Step away from him, Countess!"

"Certainly."

She pushed Oscar away. He stumbled and fell to the ground. While the two heroines stared at him, she lunged at the controls of the death ray.

Olive saw it first. "Wonder Woman! She's..."

The ray swung to face the Amazon. A low hum echoed through the room.

"Olive! Go to Oscar!"

A blinding white light arched from the cone of the death ray. Wonder Woman blocked it with her bracelets, stumbling backwards a little as it hit her.

"Try... Try to wake him!" The light pulsed, radiating power. Wonder Woman strained to keep it from overwhelming her. "See if he can shut this thing off!"

Olive rolled, dodged, and army crawled over to where Oscar lay, blank-faced, still as a manikin. Even in all the tension, she couldn't help smiling at the outfit.

"You poor thing..." She shook him. "Oscar... Oscar, wake up..."

The light increased in intensity, turning a brilliant red. Wonder Woman dug her heels into the ground, grimacing.

"Oscar!" He stared into space. Olive shook him as hard as she could. No response. "OSCAR! OSCAR, WAKE UP!"

The light turned orange.

"OSCAR!"

#

Clea's swords flew, smashing the ends off Ms. O's spear. She backed the girl into the wall, holding a blade to her throat.

"So, Ms. O. Do you still believe you and your army of frightened children can defeat us?"

#


	12. Chapter 12

"DES-TROY! DES-TROY! DES-TROY!"

The Oscarbots rampaged through Odd Squad headquarters, smashing everything their path as they charged toward Owen and Orchid. Accessing the nearest computer, Owen managed to punch in the code blocking off the infirmary before they knocked the plug out of the wall. So at least Obfusco and Oz were safe.

"DES-TROY! DES-TROY! DES-TROY!"

He grabbed a chair and threw it at them; they knocked it aside and kept coming, their eyes blinking red. Owen did a quick count: Twenty-five of them, each with the strength of ten Oscars. At least he knew where they all were.

"DES-TROY! DES-TROY! DES-TROY!"

Owen threw wastebaskets, chairs, anything he could get his hands on to try to slow them down. Normally, fighting an enemy with the face of a longtime friend would create a considerable psychological disadvantage. However, Oscar was Owen's Secret Santa at the Odd Squad Holiday Gift Exchange last Christmas and got him one of those big tins of cheese-flavored popcorn that turn up at bargain stores for about four dollars. So he didn't really have a problem with it.

"DES-TROY! DES-TROY! DES-TROY!"

Owen climbed up on the nearest desk to evade the attacking Oscarbots, bounding from desk to desk as they pursued him. Then he ran out of desks.

"Orchid! We've gotta... Orchid?"

He looked around. Orchid was gone. And the Oscarbots had surrounded him.

"Orchid?"

#

"So, Ms. O," Clea sneered. "Do you still believe you and your army of frightened children can defeat us?"

"As a matter of fact," Ms. O smiled sweetly, "I do."

Dropping the spear, Ms. O brought both hands up, shattering Clea's sword with twin karate blows before catching the spear in mid-fall and slamming it into the Atlantean queen's midsection. Clea stumbled backward, just as Ms. O landed a punch to the jaw. A spin-kick sent the queen flying into a wall where she slumped, unconscious.

"Fell for the same trick in Agartha." Ms. O straightened her dress. " **OKAY, TAKE 'EM DOWN, TEAM!** "

#

"OSCAR! OSCAR!"

The beam from the death-ray was turning yellow. Beads of sweat glistened on Wonder Woman's forehead as she blocked the blast with her magic bracelets. Sitting at the controls, The Countess Draska Nishki calmly tapped the ashes off her cigarette holder.

"OS..." Olive had an idea. She checked her pockets, eventually finding what she was looking for.

"Jelly-bean?"

Oscar blinked twice, the blue light disappearing from his eyes. "Why, thanks! Don't mind if I do!" He chose a green one, his favorite. "You know, I just had the strangest dream. I was eating lunch in a bowling alley and I was kidnapped by Irish McCalla and Tura Satana." He mused. "Heh. Usually, I like those dreams but this time, not so much..."

Olive half-smiled. He was back, all right.

#

Olaf stared at Agent Oren, thumbs tucked in his armpits, quacking contentedly and nesting in a outcropping of rock, then turned to glare at Hypnota The Great.

"You turn partner into a duck and mock Olaf's cultural heritage with cheesy outfit! BAD!" He charged toward her like a linebacker.

"Why, thank you!" Hypnota cackled. "For my next act, I think I'll make you..." She gestured, her eyes glowing. "I'll make you..."

Olaf continued charging toward her. She continued gesturing hypnotically, stared at her hands, puzzled, and gestured again.

"I'll... I'll... Why can't I..." She concentrated, eyes blazing. "There's... There's nothing to hook onto! It's like trying to grab water!" She stared at the boy in horror. "Who... What _are_ you?"

"I'M OLAF!"

And he threw a potato at her. It bounced off her forehead and she fell to her knees.

"OW! My third eye! You little..."

He grabbed her turban, pulling it down over her eyes, then snatched up the Put-To-Sleepinator gadget Oren dropped and zapped her. She fell into a peaceful slumber.

Oren blinked twice, removing his glasses to rub his eyes. "Whuh-What?"

Olaf hurried over to help him off his nest. "Bad lady asleep. You okay now."

"But what happened? I dreamed I was..."

Then he saw the nest. Worse, he saw the half-dozen little eggs nestled together in a pile. He looked at Olaf, looked at the eggs, at Hypnota, and back to the eggs again.

"Oh no... That's... That's just not possible..."

Olaf smiled dotingly down at them. "Let's hatch, see what comes out."

Oren stared at his partner and fought an urge to scream.

#

"And Dyanne Thorne told me I had to build a death-ray... And Acquenetta said my ears looked delicious... That's kind of a compliment, isn't it? ...And Pola Negri had a beard for some reason..."

The ray turned green. Wonder Woman gritted her teeth.

Olive was trying. "Oscar... Oscar, listen to me..."

"Why do I have a cigarette burn on my face? Is Grandma visiting?"

"Oscar..."

#

Giganta had cornered Octavia, whose screams were reaching ear-splitting levels.

"STOP THAT!" She punched at Octavia, who dodged just in time, still screaming. Her fist hit the hard stone of the cave wall, leaving a deep hole. Octavia gulped, then resumed screaming.

"STOP IT!" She punched again. Octavia dodged again, covering her head as pebbles rained down. Her screams were deafening. Raging, Giganta pummeled with both fists.

"STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOP..."

There was a rumble. Octavia tucked and rolled out of the way as the entire wall collapsed on top of Giganta.

Leaning against a stalagmite, Octavia watched, gadget in hand, as the dirt settled. There was a moment's silence, then a sudden explosion of rock as Giganta forced her way out, woozy and roaring loud enough to trigger another cave-in. This one buried her for good.

After a couple minutes' stillness, Octavia went over, dug out Giganta' hand, and felt her pulse. She was alive, just unconscious. Slumping in relief, Octavia pondered the wreckage and tried to figure out a way she could believably claim she'd had that all planned out.

#

"I _built_ all this? Cool!"

"No, _not_ cool, Oscar..." Olive pointed at the Countess. "That woman is going to kill Wonder Woman and take over the world..."

Oscar adjusted his glasses, peering at her. "Gale Sondergaard?"

Olive sighed. "First, no. Second, **_how have you even HEARD of these people_**?"

#

Otto's iPod had gotten switched on in his scuffle with the Cheetah and the battle had somehow turned into a dance-off. The two combatants matched each other move for move, Otto grooving to The Cheetah's feline grace.

"Gotta admit, for a crazed, homicidal super-villain, you've got some funky moves!"

"What's... What's happening to me?" The Cheetah whispered as she twirled and shimmied. "I'm not jealous of Wonder Woman! I don't hate pretty girls! I'm... I'm... I'm myself! I'm Priscilla Rich again!" She removed her Cheetah hood, shaking out her long, blond hair. "Oh, thank you, Odd Squad! Never again will I allow my evil Cheetah self to dominate me!"

Otto nodded. "Well, y'know, that's great, ma'am, but we've kind of heard that before, so if you don't mind..."

Priscilla held out her wrists and let Otto snap the handcuffs on her.

#

Blue. Wonder Woman was starting to gasp, struggling to keep the ray under control. Her skin was starting to smolder. The Countess gloated.

"Oscar, you need to turn this machine off! You must know how to de-activate it, you designed it!"

Oscar blinked. "No I didn't."

 _"WHAT?"_

"Well, I must've built it but I certainly didn't design it. I don't _do_ death-rays. I mean, come _on, death_ rays?Those went out with bubble space helmets and sideways-launching rockets to Venus! " He looked around at the machinery. "I must've used Agent Organg's design."

"Agent who?"

"Oh, he was in the Squad back in the 1930's. I studied his blueprints when I first joined. Fascinating stuff. You know he found a way to power an entire subway system with just a couple elastic bands and a..."

"OSCAR!"

#

"Pretty..." Doctor Poison lunged at Doctor O, who dodged, watching the madwoman in the green costume carefully. "Pretty, pretty, pretty..." She lunged again, acid dripping from her fingertips and burning holes in the cave floor.

"Ma'am," Doctor O said, trying to keep her voice level. "It is my considered opinion as a medical professional you should seek psychiatric treatment."

"PRETTY!" She swiped her hand. Doctor O ducked just in time.

"Of course, you're always free to seek a second opinion, but I think most other doctors would concur that..."

"DIE! DIE NOW!" She leapt at Doctor O, hands outstretched. The girl sidestepped her grasp, seized one arm, and judo-flipped her onto the ground.

"Oomph!"

Doctor Poison struggled to get back up. Doctor O stepped forward and sprayed her in the face with a small can of anesthetic gas. The villain collapsed, unconscious, her hands dribbling acid.

"Hmph," Doctor O put the can back in her coat pocket. "Probably not even a real doctor."

#

"Orchid?"

Owen looked around, both for Agent Orchid and for someplace else to jump to. The Oscarbots were shaking the desk he stood on, advancing slowly.

"DES-TROY! DES-TROY! DES-TROY!"

In the distance, Owen heard a sound like thunder. It grew louder, coming closer.

"DES-TROY! DES-TROY! DES-TROY!"

The Oscarbots heard it, too. They turned to look at the hallway, watching the enormous shadow fall over them.

"DES-TROY?"

Agent Orchid was back, riding an enormous allosaurus. It looked around, nostrils flaring, then glared down at the Oscarbots.

"Um... des-troy?"

It roared. The Oscarbots looked at one another.

"Faint?"

"Faint's good, yes."

Like a row of dominos, all twenty-five Oscarbots fell over. Owen climbed down from the desk to disconnect their power-packs as Orchid rode the dinosaur back to its pen.

"Good girl, Vicky, you're getting an extra helping of dino-chow tonight..."

#

The ray had turned indigo. Wonder Woman was struggling, clearly in pain. And Oscar was concentrating.

"Lessee, Agent Organg... He was working in the Depression... Probably circa 1933 or so..."

"Oscar, can you turn it off?"

"I... I'm pretty sure." He stepped into the center of the room and shouted at the top of his lungs, "SIT!"

The death-ray shut down. The Countess Draska Nishki stared at the controls in disbelief, fiddling with switches and pushing buttons to no avail.

Wonder Woman took a deep breath, stepped forward, and demolished the ray with one blow.

"Oh, thank goodness..." Olive gasped. "Oscar, how did you..."

"Well, it was before we'd learned how to harness the innate power of fruits and vegetables. Before that, we used..."

He opened a panel at the bottom of the death-ray. A small dog hopped out and ran away.

"...Dogs on treadmills. Simple, really."

"Very simple," The Countess grabbed Oscar, holding a knife to his throat.

#


	13. Chapter 13

The Countess Draska Nishki dragged Oscar across the cavern floor away from the destroyed death ray.

"Don't try to stop me, Wonder Woman, I warn you. Or this bunny rabbit will be skinned before your eyes."

Olive was behind The Countess. Apparently, the villainess hadn't noticed her when she grabbed Oscar. She and Wonder Woman exchanged looks.

"You can't be serious, Countess," Wonder Woman said, half-smiling. "You know you're beaten."

"I'm not finished yet..."

Olive stepped forward and jabbed The Countess hard in the funny bone. Yelping, she dropped her knife and loosened her grip enough for Oscar to squirm away.

"You're finished now."

"What?" She turned and reached for her knife on the ground. Olive put her foot on it.

"Don't even try it, Countess."

The Countess smirked. "Do you really think _you_ can stop me?"

Less than a minute later, Olive had her pinned on the ground.

"How... This is ridiculous! How could you...?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm not stupid enough to try to do karate in four-inch heels," Olive stepped back. "Wonder Woman, would you like to take over?"

"Gladly, Agent Olive." Wrapping her lasso around the defeated villainess, she led her away.

Olive smiled at Oscar. "Glad to have you back, Oscar!"

"Glad to be back. Except... What'd she mean about that 'bunny rabbit' crack? I don't..."

He went to grab his lapels and discovered they weren't there. Olive winced at what was coming.

#

"We beat Villainy, Inc!" Otto looked around at his fellow Agents and the defeated villains. " _We_ beat Villainy, Inc!"

"You certainly did!" Wonder Woman said, leading The Countess into the cavern. "And here's Olive's catch!" She looked at the villain and gripped her lasso. "Sleep." The Countess collapsed, unconscious and Wonder Woman rewound her lasso.

"I knew you could do it," Ms. O said, sipping a juice box she'd produced from behind her back. Then she turned to Wonder Woman. "Is Oscar all right?"

"He's..."

Just then, they heard a hideous, unimaginable shriek, almost inhuman, the sound of a creature experiencing the most unspeakable horror. Worse, they recognized the voice.

#

"No, Oscar's fine, Ms. O," Olive explained into her badge phone. "He just had a bad shock. No, don't... We'll be there in a couple minutes."

Wonder Woman slipped unobtrusively back into the cave as Olive went over to the distraught Oscar.

" ** _A bunny suit? A bunny suit?_** "

"It's all right, Oscar, calm down..."

"I mean, I can understand them kidnapping me and hypnotizing me and making me build them a death ray and threatening to kill and eat me and stick my brain in a tank -Actually, I think it'd be kinda cool to be a brain in a tank- but... but they _dressed me in a bunny suit?_ That's just **warped!** " A horrible thought struck him. "Is... Is there a fluffy tail?"

Olive checked. "Yes. Yes, there is. I'm sorry."

Oscar sobbed.

"It's okay, Oscar. Your uniform's back at headquarters..."

" _Back at headquarters_?" Oscar paced back and forth. "I can't walk through town in a bunny suit! I'm a respected scientist! It'll ruin my carefully crafted hipster image and destroy my street cred!"

Olive and Wonder Woman looked at one another and sighed.

"I'm one of the top people at Odd Squad! I'm in a position of authority! I'm a very important person! I...I want my mommy!" He buried his hands in his paws. Then he looked up again at Olive. "Wait. You were talking to Ms. O and she heard me scream?" Probably most of the continental United States heard him scream but Olive opted not to bring that up. "Where is she? She's not around here, is she?"

"Um..." She indicated the cavern entrance.

"But... But she hasn't seen me... like this, has she?"

"Not yet," Olive assured him. He wasn't assured.

"Is there anyone else?"

"Otto." Oscar moaned. "And Octavia. And Oren and Olaf. And Doctor O."

Oscar considered. "I'm going to go jump off a bridge now."

"Oscar, they came to rescue you! They'll be happy to see you no matter what you're wearing!"

Oscar stared at the floor miserably.

"Would it help if I told you that you look adorable?"

" _No!_ Well... _No!_ "

"Oscar," Wonder Woman stepped forward, smiling. "I can help."

A moment or so later, she had her arms wrapped around Oscar's midsection as he faced away from her. Olive stood a few feet away, watching anxiously.

"Now remember, Oscar. Concentrate on your uniform. Close your eyes if it helps."

Oscar closed his eyes. "This is completely unscientific..."

"Who was it who said science sufficiently advanced is undistinguishable from magic?"

Oscar opened one eye. "I think it was either Lao Tzu or Vicki Lawrence."

"Ready?"

"I guess."

Then he yelped as Wonder Woman picked him up off the ground and started spinning in place. Olive looked around as dramatic music surged from nowhere. There was an explosion of light.

#

Ms. O eyed the cave nervously. It had been several minutes since Oscar screamed and there'd been no word from Olive since then.

"What could be holding them up?" Otto asked, looking at his watch.

"There couldn't have been _another_ trap, could there?" Octavia bit her lower lip.

"There'd better not be another trap," Oren muttered. Olaf was collecting the eggs, singing happily. "If there's another trap, I'm going home."

"Perhaps they're injured," Doctor O checked her supplies. "Maybe I should go tend to them. After all, I am a doctor."

"Ssh!" Ms. O pointed to the shifting shadows. "Someone's coming."

There was an anxious moment. Then a figure stepped forward, straightening his bowtie and fussing with the lapels of his labcoat. Olive followed closely.

"Hey, guys!"

They all cheered. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman unobtrusively took charge of the villains.

#

Sometime later, everyone was in Ms. O's office, unwinding over juice and pizza.

"Villainy, Inc. are safely returned to Transformation Island," Wonder Woman told Ms. O, sipping her bottled water. "where my Amazon sisters and I will continue trying to cure them of their criminal tendencies. Perhaps someday, we'll be able to make honest citizens of them."

"That's good," Ms. O slurped her juice box. "We found Clea's pterosaur chained to a rock in a corner of the cavern and rescued it. Orchid's nursing it back to health. The poor thing was half-starved."

Wonder Woman nodded. "They do that to their mounts in Venturia, I'm afraid," she explained. "It tends to make them more fierce."

Otto laughed. "Well, if it gets fierce with Orchid, she'll be able to handle it!"

Smiling, Wonder Woman looked around the room. "Where's Agent Oscar? I need to talk to him."

"He's back in his lab," Olive answered. "Said he had a ton of work to catch up on. Why? Is it important?"

"It's nothing that can't wait," Wonder Woman responded. "I just need to check him to make sure Villainy, Inc. didn't implant any post-hypnotic suggestions while he was under their spell."

"Oh no," Otto almost put down his pizza slice. Then he thought better of it. "You mean they might have put something in his head to make him do something..."

Just then, they heard a loud crash and a shriek. Oscar came running down the hall, labcoat in shreds, one shoe and one pantleg gone, screaming at the top of his lungs. He ran full-force into the closed door of Ms. O's office.

BAM!

"Oscar?"

Wonder Woman opened the door cautiously to find him lying on the ground looking up at her.

"Um... help?"

A few moments later, they were all gathered around Oscar's locked lab looked through the thankfully shatterproof glass windows at the creatures emerging one by one from the water tank on the floor to swim through the air in concentric circles, roaring.

"Are those... flying killer mermaids?"

"With butterfly wings?"

"And shark bodies?"

Oscar swallowed. "I... I thought I was making sun tea..."

Doctor O sighed. "I'll get the humanifying potion from my office..."

"Good," Wonder Woman corralled Oscar and started leading him to Ms. O's office. "Meanwhile, young man, I'm afraid you and I need to have a de-programming session."

Oscar eyed the lasso nervously. "It's not going to hurt, is it?"

Wonder Woman smiled. "Not at all. But I'm afraid we might have to explore the darkest recesses of your soul."

Otto's eyes gleamed. "Can we watch?" Olive glared at him. "Can we videotape it?"

Wonder Woman shook her head. "It's mostly telepathic, actually. It shouldn't take long."

She opened the door and ushered Oscar in.

"I won't end up thinking I was abducted by aliens, will I?"

"Don't worry, Oscar. I'll be careful."

"Because, you know, I was actually abducted by aliens. But they were nice aliens, not the probey kind..." Wonder Woman shut the door. "Got me into Sun Ra, actually..."

Ms. O turned to look over the balcony at the Agents on the first floor.

"Well, what are you all standing around for? **Get back to work!** "

end


End file.
